Wow. It has been much too long since I have blogged much less journaled. There is something about both that bring me to a place of peace.
Have you ever been really dedicated about journaling and then suddenly overtaken by life (or avoiding dealing with things in life) that you you don't write anything for months? This realization always gives me the strongest desire to tuck that journal away somewhere and by a new one and start afresh.
I have come to realize that is a cop-out though because in order to really start afresh, those things must be dealt with. Since that time is still in the works I figured I would share a tidbit of what's been happening.
May 5 ~ Graduated college and left the campus life behind.
May 6 - Mid June ~ Found me frantically searching for any job I qualified for that would cover expenses. This was rather taxing and this is part of why I was not journaling. For some reason I was convincing myself that I did not have anything to write when, in fact, God was taking me on a beautiful faith journey.
Long story short, he of course had this grand plan in the works that I could not even have dreamed of in the way only he can.
June 15 ~ Started a job in Pasadena at a valve company as a shipping clerk in the warehouse. (This working environment has proved to be one of the most interesting and teaching experiences of my life)
Pasadena (in true Texas style) is a whopping 65 miles from Angleton (1.5 hours away). Needless to say, I would need to be moving soon. Once again, God had it all planned perfectly. My old roommate from college, Cat (also a co-worker who helped get me the hook-up), my brother Derek, and two sweet ladies Karindy & Analisse all live in decent driving range of the afore-mentioned job.
So during the week I would crash on the couch or air matress of said friends and then spend the weekend at home (recovering from the week). This went on for about a month.
God provides in sweet thoughtful ways. I was a bit concerned about being able to afford living but he graciously laid in my lap the opportunity to rent a house (that is adorable & surrounded by sweet neighbors) with Karindy and Analisse along with a new friend, Erin, built in the 50's for dirt cheap.
Obviously I was beyond thankful for the very small price tag but I am also thankful to be living in a house and with two girls who are like sisters to me as well as the opportunity to build a new friendship.
July 28 ~ Move-in day. You know how when you move you suddenly become convinced that you have far too much stuff? Yea, it happened to me too...Thankfully I had the help of my mom and brother as well as roommates, their brother and friends.
I am very excited to see what the Lord has planned for this home as we make it our own.
Present day ~ I would post pictures but the two cameras I had in the past decided to permanently malfunction so I am picture-less until such a time comes when I can afford a new one. It is just as well that you don't know exactly what's up because it is still a jungle of boxes and un-organized choas (which for this normally organized girl is proving to be a little taxing). Soon though when a free weekend arises things will change and shape into our personalities.
Please ignore/exscuse my poor sentence structure and grammar. This has been a long day after which I should already be asleep but I couldn't resist getting back to blogging. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
{reviving ophelia - chp 1: something lost}
Oh for the love of blogging instead of writing a paper for Christian Ethics which is due in the morning. :D
I have had many thoughts to write on lately but no time to do so. So instead of waiting any longer everything else is getting pushed aside. (I'm gonna hate myself at 6:20 am when I awake for morning workouts...)
I will focus on one thought though tonight. After sharing with one of my wonderful professors about how I would like to minister to young women he encouraged me to read the book Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher. In her book she goes through several cases that focus in on certain scenarios women face.
I began reading it awhile ago and soon found that this is not the type of book you can just read little bits of here and there. In the preface alone I was going highlighter happy.
It is loaded with all kinds of depth and inspiration. I have decided to go back and start from the beginning, journaling my thoughts and observations along the way. Should you like to join me in this journey, go grab the book and read along. (You will benefit much more than from my meager thoughts.)
Mary Pipher is a Psychologist who has done family therapy for several years and long story short she began to notice something in the women, be they young or old, who would enter her office. What she noticed was that something was lacking. Like they were a flower that was never quite allowed to bloom.
Something I noted that she said in the preface is that, "Particularly junior high seemed like a crucible. Many confident, well-adjusted girls were transformed into sad and angry failures".
Later in chapter 1 she expounds on this further. She points out two distinct contrasts:
What's interesting though is that girls know that they are losing themselves. One said, "Everything good in me died in junior high."
Why is this? Mary Pipher shows the common theme of young girls lives in her summary of the story of Ophelia in Shakespeare's Hamlet.
As Ophelia began to lose herself she searched for soemone to tell her who she was to be. Because of the pressure to change she finds herself listening more to others than herself. Her life becomes this constant juggling competition where she is trying to show favor to each juggle. Soon she starts to find that she is paying too much attention to one ball and doesn't even notice that the others are falling until they have already hit the ground...
Is this not the reality that so many of us have faced at some point in our lives?
I am reminded of a quote I saw recently from Bill Cosby. He said, "I do not know the key to success, but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody".
Is this not what we often do? We allow ourselves to make decisions based on how others will view them. Why are we giving so much weight to people who have shown no evidence to deserve it? This is a cycle I hope to see changed even if only in one woman.
As I read on in this book I hope to learn more about what can be done to help us learn what the warning signs are and how we can encourage other women to seek out their own voice.
Please do not be alarmed and think, "Oh goodness, this is just a subtle cry for feminism". No, that is not my purpose at all.
I merely know that more and more women are struggling to find their voice or feel the confidence to use it. I am heartbroken at the lack of confidence I see in girls and their constant, desparate search for someone to give it to them even though its been within them all along.
I hope you join me on this journey and share your thoughts so that we may all benefit.
{By the way, sorry for all the quotes but I felt that Mary Pipher could say it better}
I have had many thoughts to write on lately but no time to do so. So instead of waiting any longer everything else is getting pushed aside. (I'm gonna hate myself at 6:20 am when I awake for morning workouts...)
I will focus on one thought though tonight. After sharing with one of my wonderful professors about how I would like to minister to young women he encouraged me to read the book Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher. In her book she goes through several cases that focus in on certain scenarios women face.
I began reading it awhile ago and soon found that this is not the type of book you can just read little bits of here and there. In the preface alone I was going highlighter happy.
It is loaded with all kinds of depth and inspiration. I have decided to go back and start from the beginning, journaling my thoughts and observations along the way. Should you like to join me in this journey, go grab the book and read along. (You will benefit much more than from my meager thoughts.)
Mary Pipher is a Psychologist who has done family therapy for several years and long story short she began to notice something in the women, be they young or old, who would enter her office. What she noticed was that something was lacking. Like they were a flower that was never quite allowed to bloom.
Something I noted that she said in the preface is that, "Particularly junior high seemed like a crucible. Many confident, well-adjusted girls were transformed into sad and angry failures".
Later in chapter 1 she expounds on this further. She points out two distinct contrasts:
Preadolescent: Most preadolescent girls are marvelous company because they are interested in everything--sports, nature, people, music and books...They can take care of themselves and are not yet burdened with caring for others. They have a brief respite from the female role and can be tomboys, a word that conveys courage, competency, and irreverence. They can be androgynous, having the ability to act adaptively in any situation regardless of gender role constraints. An androgynous person can comfort a baby or change a tire, cook a meal or chair a meeting...androgynous adults are the most well adjusted.
Adolescent: Something dramatic happens to girls in early adolescence...They crash and burn in a social and developmental Bermuda Triangle...They lose their resiliency and optimism and become less curious and inclined to take risks. They lose their assertive, energetic and "tomboyish" personalities and become more deferential, self-critical and depressed. They report great unhappiness with their own bodiesWhat a drastic difference between those descriptions. She points out that there is something that happens during adolescence. Something is lost.
What's interesting though is that girls know that they are losing themselves. One said, "Everything good in me died in junior high."
Why is this? Mary Pipher shows the common theme of young girls lives in her summary of the story of Ophelia in Shakespeare's Hamlet.
As a girl, Ophelia is happy and free, but with adolescence she loses herself. When she falls in love with Hamlet, she lives only for his approval. She has no inner direction; rather she struggles to meet the demands of Hamlet and her father. Her value is determined utterly by their approval. Ophelia is torn apart by her efforts to please. When Hamlet spurns her because she is an obedient daughter, she goes mad with grief. Dressed in elegant clothes that weigh her down, she drowns in a stream filled with flowers.As girls enter adolescence they are told in several direct and indirect ways that they must change who they are and become an entirely new person. Often times these messages come from sources that are not very helpful or trustworthy and yet we as women listen to them because we have been convinced at some point in time that they are worth our time.
As Ophelia began to lose herself she searched for soemone to tell her who she was to be. Because of the pressure to change she finds herself listening more to others than herself. Her life becomes this constant juggling competition where she is trying to show favor to each juggle. Soon she starts to find that she is paying too much attention to one ball and doesn't even notice that the others are falling until they have already hit the ground...
Is this not the reality that so many of us have faced at some point in our lives?
I am reminded of a quote I saw recently from Bill Cosby. He said, "I do not know the key to success, but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody".
Is this not what we often do? We allow ourselves to make decisions based on how others will view them. Why are we giving so much weight to people who have shown no evidence to deserve it? This is a cycle I hope to see changed even if only in one woman.
As I read on in this book I hope to learn more about what can be done to help us learn what the warning signs are and how we can encourage other women to seek out their own voice.
Please do not be alarmed and think, "Oh goodness, this is just a subtle cry for feminism". No, that is not my purpose at all.
I merely know that more and more women are struggling to find their voice or feel the confidence to use it. I am heartbroken at the lack of confidence I see in girls and their constant, desparate search for someone to give it to them even though its been within them all along.
I hope you join me on this journey and share your thoughts so that we may all benefit.
{By the way, sorry for all the quotes but I felt that Mary Pipher could say it better}
Monday, December 26, 2011
{Its Finally Time to Go!}
*Before you read this post, go to the Ethiopia label above, click it, and scroll down and read from the bottom up. This might seem confusing but this is the way of blogging and cannot be changed.* :)
So its 14 hours before we jump on a plane and spend several hours in the air to arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia!
If you are wondering why in the world I am posting this blog so early in the morning it is because a friend, who has travelled often, told me to start changing my sleep schedule to match theirs. Ethiopia is 9 hours ahead of dear ole' Texas, hence my purpose for being up so late...or early.
Nervousness finally started setting in on Saturday. I began wondering if I was ready. If I had everything I needed (as we are shopping at Wal-Mart at 6pm when they close at 8pm). If I would take advantage of all the opportunities in Ethiopia. If I would see those opportunities... The questions just kept flooding through my mind.
Once we got home I decided to take a break from packing and relaxed with my family as we watched White Christmas. While watching the movie I began to realize how much of myself is not important in this trip. No I did not have some great epiphany from the movie itself. I simply took the time to be still and realized that Satan tempts us to think that without us being involved in something that he will not get his business done. This is so laughable since we are often part of the problem rather than the solution.
I hope that as you think of me and my fellow mission-mates you will see that Christ has not just made us worthy of serving Christ but you are worthy as well. I challenge you to take the opportunities you are given each day to show the love of God to those you encounter.
To show the love of God...don't just pass over that statement. Really read those words. What does that mean? How do you put it into action? Showing love is not just in your actions but also in your attitude. You can do goods deeds by giving your seat to someone else or letting them checkout in line before you, but those are just simple actions that do not make you any different from the rest of the world unless you do it with kindness and love.
I emphasize this because so many people in the world are 'good people'. They do not realize that their is something more that is necessary because we do not show them the difference in our attitudes.
Take on this day with a renewed desire to love people. I pray that he gives you a heart not just to serve his people but to truly take interest in their lives and show them what unconditional love is all about.
If you would like to pray for our flights here is the flight schedule:
Going to Ethiopia
I realize the times might not make sense but we are going to a different time zone. Ethiopia is not only 9 hours ahead of us but they are living in the year 2004. Crazy right?
Have a happy New Year! I will write you soon!
So its 14 hours before we jump on a plane and spend several hours in the air to arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia!
If you are wondering why in the world I am posting this blog so early in the morning it is because a friend, who has travelled often, told me to start changing my sleep schedule to match theirs. Ethiopia is 9 hours ahead of dear ole' Texas, hence my purpose for being up so late...or early.
Nervousness finally started setting in on Saturday. I began wondering if I was ready. If I had everything I needed (as we are shopping at Wal-Mart at 6pm when they close at 8pm). If I would take advantage of all the opportunities in Ethiopia. If I would see those opportunities... The questions just kept flooding through my mind.
Once we got home I decided to take a break from packing and relaxed with my family as we watched White Christmas. While watching the movie I began to realize how much of myself is not important in this trip. No I did not have some great epiphany from the movie itself. I simply took the time to be still and realized that Satan tempts us to think that without us being involved in something that he will not get his business done. This is so laughable since we are often part of the problem rather than the solution.
I hope that as you think of me and my fellow mission-mates you will see that Christ has not just made us worthy of serving Christ but you are worthy as well. I challenge you to take the opportunities you are given each day to show the love of God to those you encounter.
To show the love of God...don't just pass over that statement. Really read those words. What does that mean? How do you put it into action? Showing love is not just in your actions but also in your attitude. You can do goods deeds by giving your seat to someone else or letting them checkout in line before you, but those are just simple actions that do not make you any different from the rest of the world unless you do it with kindness and love.
I emphasize this because so many people in the world are 'good people'. They do not realize that their is something more that is necessary because we do not show them the difference in our attitudes.
Take on this day with a renewed desire to love people. I pray that he gives you a heart not just to serve his people but to truly take interest in their lives and show them what unconditional love is all about.
If you would like to pray for our flights here is the flight schedule:
Going to Ethiopia
Depart Houston on Dec. 26 at 6:25pm
Land in Dubai on Dec. 27 at 7:05pm
Leave Dubai on Dec. 28 at 8:25am
Land in Addis Dec. 28 at 11:25am
Coming Home
Depart from Addis on Jan. 4 at 7:35pm
Land in Dubai on Jan. 5 at 12:35am
Depart from Dubai on Jan. 5 at 2:45am
Land in Houston on Jan. 5 at 9:25am
I realize the times might not make sense but we are going to a different time zone. Ethiopia is not only 9 hours ahead of us but they are living in the year 2004. Crazy right?
Have a happy New Year! I will write you soon!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
{The Purpose}
Before we leave tomorrow I want you to know in depth the purpose of this trip.
The Group
We are a group of college students, a Professor and his wife heading over to Ethiopia. We are now apart of a collection of groups that go each year that are tied together with what is called the E-Team (East Texas Team). Several churches from East Texas and now some from Houston have taken on the goal to send a handful of mission groups to Ethiopia each year. This is done in an effort to build strong relationships with the people.
Why So Many Groups?
When you think of a mission trip what is the first picture that comes to your mind? Perhaps you think of a couple of people going door to door sharing the gospel. This is not what we will be doing. Because the Ethiopians religious beliefs are so integrated into their lifestyle they would only hear us telling them they are wrong and we are right. Of course that is not our intention so instead we will be showing love to them in every way we possibly can.
What Will We Be Doing?
During the day we will be leading a VBS to about 450 children. We have a recreation team, craft team, Bible story team and health team. In the evenings we will have a sort of meet and greet with youth and adults where we will share about each of our culures. This will be a great opportunity to share what we believe without seeming forceful. We will also learn better on how to reach them.
Our primary goal is to show them love. We have to be delicate with our words. We are the first American's to be going to the village of Bona and our purpose is to lay a good foundation for future teams to follow. This is important because if we are not careful with how we reach out to the people they could shut down to teams that follow.
Please be in prayer each day that we will be vessels of love to these people. That they will see Christ in our actions and that we will be able to plant seeds that will grow after future teams come along and as they become more receptive to the local church.
Thank you so much for your prayers. I cannot wait to share more after I come back!
The Group
We are a group of college students, a Professor and his wife heading over to Ethiopia. We are now apart of a collection of groups that go each year that are tied together with what is called the E-Team (East Texas Team). Several churches from East Texas and now some from Houston have taken on the goal to send a handful of mission groups to Ethiopia each year. This is done in an effort to build strong relationships with the people.
Why So Many Groups?
When you think of a mission trip what is the first picture that comes to your mind? Perhaps you think of a couple of people going door to door sharing the gospel. This is not what we will be doing. Because the Ethiopians religious beliefs are so integrated into their lifestyle they would only hear us telling them they are wrong and we are right. Of course that is not our intention so instead we will be showing love to them in every way we possibly can.
What Will We Be Doing?
During the day we will be leading a VBS to about 450 children. We have a recreation team, craft team, Bible story team and health team. In the evenings we will have a sort of meet and greet with youth and adults where we will share about each of our culures. This will be a great opportunity to share what we believe without seeming forceful. We will also learn better on how to reach them.
Our primary goal is to show them love. We have to be delicate with our words. We are the first American's to be going to the village of Bona and our purpose is to lay a good foundation for future teams to follow. This is important because if we are not careful with how we reach out to the people they could shut down to teams that follow.
Please be in prayer each day that we will be vessels of love to these people. That they will see Christ in our actions and that we will be able to plant seeds that will grow after future teams come along and as they become more receptive to the local church.
Thank you so much for your prayers. I cannot wait to share more after I come back!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
{Preparation}
So the journey doesn't begin the day our group leaves; there is much preparation that must be accomplished beforehand. Of course the first thing that may run through your mind is fundraising. This is most definitely important but there is so much more.
Our group is made up of several college students, a Professor and his wife. Some have had lots of missions experiences while others have had very little but all the students are new to Ethiopia. Although we are all very excited, there is so much we have to learn about Ethiopians.
Because prayer is such a powerful tool here is a list of things that our group would appreciate you praying for:
Here is a list of all those going on the trip so that you may pray for them by name:
~Bethany Risinger
~Macy Freeman
~Lucy Elston
~Onisha Bradshaw
~Alisa Roberts
~Breann Whitacker
~Anthony Ray
~Logan Moree
~Calvin Williams
~Payton Beggs
~Jordan Langford
~Elijah Brown
~Amy Brown
I hope that you enjoy the posts that will follow and allow yourself to be blessed and challenged by the words that will follow on this blog.
Our group is made up of several college students, a Professor and his wife. Some have had lots of missions experiences while others have had very little but all the students are new to Ethiopia. Although we are all very excited, there is so much we have to learn about Ethiopians.
Because prayer is such a powerful tool here is a list of things that our group would appreciate you praying for:
- Safety (driving, plane ride, walking through the city and villages)
- Health (good immune system, good response to travel shots, wisdom on what not to eat or drink, remain hydrated)
- Wise words (that we would be aware of cultural differences and not offend them, leave a clear path for future missionaries)
- Adjustment to the culture (their way of living is very different so flexibility is key)
- Spiritual wisdom (staying in the Word of God and awareness of when the Holy Spirit is moving)
- Energy (time change, ability to serve and keep up with the kids)
Here is a list of all those going on the trip so that you may pray for them by name:
~Bethany Risinger
~Macy Freeman
~Lucy Elston
~Onisha Bradshaw
~Alisa Roberts
~Breann Whitacker
~Anthony Ray
~Logan Moree
~Calvin Williams
~Payton Beggs
~Jordan Langford
~Elijah Brown
~Amy Brown
I hope that you enjoy the posts that will follow and allow yourself to be blessed and challenged by the words that will follow on this blog.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
{Minor Cut}
So this past Saturday my lovely roommates and I had our very own Thanksgiving dinner since we will be without each other next week. Since it is not often that we are all in the apartment and we weren't wearing sweats we decided it was a great opportunity for a roommate picture!
We all picked dishes we would make and spent the morning preparing them. As I went to make my sweet potatoe casserole I grabbed the can opener and can of sweet potatoes. (I enjoy cooking but I have never thought to use fresh sweet potatoes. Oh well, maybe after you read the rest of this blog you will recommend that I go with fresh.) So, I was opening the can and then pouring its contents into the pan and saw that thetop was not open all the way. Rather than being sensible, responsible, instinctual, etc. I grab the the top and put pressure on it with my thumb. Below is the result of my actions.
It was very difficult to get a picture of this. I hate to admit that I went through about 20 tries before I was blessed with this rather pitiful picture. Anyways, it did hurt to quite a lot and was bleeding for a good while. Finally I was able to stop the bleeding and finish getting ready for our scrumptous lunch.
This experience takes me back to when I poured hot grease into an empty green bean can and ended up ouring the grease on my hand resulting in a pretty decent burn. You smart people out there can figure out why the grease ended up on my hand. For those of you still confused here is a hint, aluminum can = heat conductor = me dropping said can while still pouring grease. I guess that wasn't a clue but the whole story.
Ok, so back to my point. I began to notice how simple tasks became difficult since I can't put pressure on this thumb 'o' mine.
Here is a little lst of the things I have adjusted too.
~ changing clothes
~ putting on boots (those in the picture made my thumb bleed a bit)
~ sewing
~ cooking
~ opening neosporin tube
~ putting hair in a ponytail
~ a hand-stand (might seem random, but attempting batmanning was painful in more ways than one)
~ showering
The list could go on, but you might notice these are simple tasks none of them being really important. After accidentally hitting the gash on the counter and scrunching my face in pain a thought came to my mind. I pictured all of the deep wounds that Christ had all over his body the day he was crucified for my sins. I can't even begin to imagine the pain he felt to move much less carry two very heavy poles up a hill.
I am not saying that we can't say when something hurts, but this thought made me realize just how painful my small gash is and how painful all of his wounds must hav felt. I know that I would have never been able to take the pain that Christ endured. I would have given up immediately without any care for the rest of the people on this earth.
It just amazes me how extravagant Christ' love is for all of us. He willingly chose to die for our sins because he knew that his death was the only sacrifice that could save us from Hell. I am so thankful for his unconditional love. I am also thatnkful that he took a stupid mistake on my part and turn it into a simple reminder of his love. How sweetly his plan works for our good.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. ~ John 3:16
Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good; Sing praises to His name, for it is lovely. ~ Psalm 135:3
{My sweet roomies. I am truly blessed}
We all picked dishes we would make and spent the morning preparing them. As I went to make my sweet potatoe casserole I grabbed the can opener and can of sweet potatoes. (I enjoy cooking but I have never thought to use fresh sweet potatoes. Oh well, maybe after you read the rest of this blog you will recommend that I go with fresh.) So, I was opening the can and then pouring its contents into the pan and saw that thetop was not open all the way. Rather than being sensible, responsible, instinctual, etc. I grab the the top and put pressure on it with my thumb. Below is the result of my actions.
{My thumb the day after}
This experience takes me back to when I poured hot grease into an empty green bean can and ended up ouring the grease on my hand resulting in a pretty decent burn. You smart people out there can figure out why the grease ended up on my hand. For those of you still confused here is a hint, aluminum can = heat conductor = me dropping said can while still pouring grease. I guess that wasn't a clue but the whole story.
Ok, so back to my point. I began to notice how simple tasks became difficult since I can't put pressure on this thumb 'o' mine.
Here is a little lst of the things I have adjusted too.
~ changing clothes
~ putting on boots (those in the picture made my thumb bleed a bit)
~ sewing
~ cooking
~ opening neosporin tube
~ putting hair in a ponytail
~ a hand-stand (might seem random, but attempting batmanning was painful in more ways than one)
~ showering
The list could go on, but you might notice these are simple tasks none of them being really important. After accidentally hitting the gash on the counter and scrunching my face in pain a thought came to my mind. I pictured all of the deep wounds that Christ had all over his body the day he was crucified for my sins. I can't even begin to imagine the pain he felt to move much less carry two very heavy poles up a hill.
I am not saying that we can't say when something hurts, but this thought made me realize just how painful my small gash is and how painful all of his wounds must hav felt. I know that I would have never been able to take the pain that Christ endured. I would have given up immediately without any care for the rest of the people on this earth.
It just amazes me how extravagant Christ' love is for all of us. He willingly chose to die for our sins because he knew that his death was the only sacrifice that could save us from Hell. I am so thankful for his unconditional love. I am also thatnkful that he took a stupid mistake on my part and turn it into a simple reminder of his love. How sweetly his plan works for our good.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. ~ John 3:16
Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good; Sing praises to His name, for it is lovely. ~ Psalm 135:3
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